Cat Nap


I am not sure who invented “the Cat Nap”….obviously a Cat….but maybe not? I think me and my Doggie buddies are as good as anyone at napping. I don’t know if cats will just nap anywhere like me. I  mean I do have my favorite spots of course, but sometimes I can be very adventurous and sleep in a different spot. I guess you can say I am willing to sleep around. …Maybe this is why we are called “dogs”?   Naaah, I think we are called dogs because our best traits mirror those of “the Big Guy” upstairs.

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So here I am trying to catch a few ZZZZZ’s at the top of the stairs and my mom and dad think they are being slick by filming me. They want to catch and record me snoring, but all they did was disturb my sleep. Being a professional sleeper hower I did not fully wake up. This is where I think a cat might have.

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It gets me wondering do Cats have a better PR firm than dogs? Why do they get the credit? Not that I mind that they do, but a cat nap =’s good and being called a dawg sometimes =’s bad. Not fair!  Also people eat hot dogs which is ok, but they also eat ***** which is supposed to be …well lets just say a whole ‘nother level.

Life Lesson: Sleep well my friends.

Bear Hunting and Other Mastiff Activities


I slaughtered the bear, my friend Teddy, as the aligator looked on. I couldn’t help it. It is in my genes, my DNA, my pre programed reason for being, my purpose.  It is part of my family occupation, My dad did this and his dad before him. Even going way back my great great grand dad also was into bear hunts. My moms side also. We also specialized in lion hunting, and guarding forts. My ancestors even went to war. Entire brigades of us in armour running straight at the enemy.

It is not my fault it wasn’t our fault. The Romans trained us to do this. they must of had some vocational trade schools set up and us Mastiffs probably did well on the vocational testing at these sorts of things. I guess we excel at things like being the bouncer at a Roman fort or nowdays maybe if us dogs could get our own football league I can be a linebacker or maybe just an offensive or defensive lineman?

So I plead not guilty by reason of …………’um.it’s what I am meant to do. A little voice in my head says, “Kill the Bear, kill it, kill it now.” I guess a PR firm like in Mad Men or maybe say a defense lawyer or a politician would put a positive spin on it and say, “I released the white flufy stuffing trapped inside the bear, so it could be free, and so the bear was no longer encumbered by the weight of his insides.”

 

I know it looks like carnage and probably like an earlier picture of one of his family…….

I am thinking this may start to look bad for me, “Do I need a lawyer?”

Life Lesson: You are who you are, be proud and unapologetic, be happy, (unless you are a teddy bear living with a mastiff….then RUN!)