Bed and Breakfast in Beacon NY. 12508

This is the bed part. You get to sleep all day if you want. There are no bed bugs, I have a flea collar.

Here is the breakfast part. Usually it is some yummy dog food with something even more yummy added in. This morning it was left over chicken. There is also plenty of fresh water available. My dad is constsantly making sure the dish is full and fresh. He even has one for me upstairs!  Of course you can always beg for more or swipe stuff off the counter.

There are outdoor activities and facilities, such as places to pee.

….And if you are not happy with your stay you can always take it up with the management.

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Life Lesson: Sometimes you have to get away, sometimes you can’t, enjoy what you CAN!

Model Behavior…UM, …..NO

Everyone tells me how good looking I am. It is always, “Oh what a good looking dog”! Here is the thing however…I am just a regular guy. I like to drool….a lot!

 I drool on everything, I drool everywhere. I drool and shake my head so it goes airborne…kinda’ like horizontal drool rain. We are talking copious amounts of drool.

 let the evidence show…I have drooled on someones, (I think it was my mom’s…ooops, sorry mom) pants.

When I am not drooling I am peeing rivers and pooping mountains. Sorry no photos, because this is a family blog we have to show a certain amount of decorum. I do have a photo of my dad’s pooper scooper……….

So, I don’t think I will ever get to walk the …”catwalk?”, “dogwalk?” I would probably shower the judges with drool and then poop on their runway…and if there is anything and I mean anything that is verticle, I will smell it and pee on it.  SO, If you want a “model” “metrosexual” doggy try this guy I tried to meet but was politely rebuffed.

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Life Lesson: Some of us are just meant to be regular dudes.

p.s. I snore

OH S**T!

I should have a Sad face like this…but I don’t I have a Happy face like this…….

WHY?…Because I just pooped!  POOPING FEELS GOOD! I LIKE POOPING! There I siad it, I like Pooping! peeing is good too but pooping …ah, that is like Wow! It is warm and squishy and smelly.

I can’t do it in the house though. those in power in the current administration do not like poop in the house, (or pee for that matter). So I am forever having to ask for permission to go out. I am almost always escorted out to poop as if I need an escort to poop. My mom doesn’t let me escort her to poop, …my dad does sometimes, he’s cool. AND, if they are not home I have to wait, WAIT! aaarrrgggghhh, How do I know when they are coming home? it is all very frustrating.  Lucky for them they have ait conditioning because if they had fans…….let’s just say I would be sorely tempted to poop in that direction , and then you know what happens?…….

Anyway I have been very very good lately except the one time I was sick, but that is another story. I have also been very lucky because my dad does walk me a lot and at all different hours. He walks me all around and usually carries his pooper scooper. people look at him as if he is some sort of ax/shovel murderer because he walks a big dog, (me) and carries a big shovel. Some people “get it” others can’t quite make the connection. We call them______________ a name I am too muchof a nice dog to mention.

 the pooper scooper.

Life Lesson: Don’t carry a lot of crap around with you, you have to let it go, it is all in the past.

My Dad is still Steaming, Crazy, Livid! because WordPress has turned really crappy

 Word Press is the blog hosting company I use. Well apparently they made some changes. They have become more invasive, less reliable, very spotty and iffy. You never know if you are going to type out a blog, add pictures and then hit “publish” only to have the whole thing lost, wiped out, total waste of time. And let me tell you, it aint easy to type with these big ‘ole paws of mine, so it is VERY frustrating.

My dad being the hot, crazy, over passionate, and easilly frustrated guy that he is, is all of a sudden talking of revolution, striking back at the “Man”, taking it to the streets and getting a grass roots revolt against the evil Orwellian crazy Liberal ‘1984 privacy invasion and lack of quality corporate crap they’re trying to shove down our throats. !!!!!!!!!!! He really got “tweaked” when he emailed wordpress and they responded with a “uh, duh, what? duh.” like some oblivious dope with his head up his …um, better leave it at that.

Me…I’m like “ugh, sigh, it’s crappy but just deal with it” kinda’ dog.

You see my dad has never been a dog. Us dogs know that you aren’t in controll of your own destiny, even if you do everything right. We just take it as  it comes. …which usually is crappy. If he had to stay in the house all day waiting for ME to come home just to go pee, poop, or to play and had to do that everyday, THEN, he’d understand. THEN, he would know why I get so maniacally happy and jump around and pounce on him when he does come home.

Life Lesson: You have to realize that there are somethings you just have to accept.  (but you can always find a way to “stick it to the man”)

WHAT! Shrubbery indoors?

Apparently Someone has decided it is now ok to put shrubbery indoors! OR, maybe my dad has decided to become a shrubber? I caught him the other day bringing a tree inside.  He has never brought even a branch indoors for me to chew on, he always makes me leave them outside. Now all of a sudden an entire freakin’ tree!   ….smells nice though.

  Maybe it’s there so I don’t have to go outside to pee? I mean it is getting colder out. Hmmmm, what a good idea! When it gets cold outside the humans bring the bathroom inside. BRILLIANT! No more going out in the cold in the morning.  ……Ok, where do I poop?

  Well, that was my first thought, then he started hanging lights on it, (duh, I can see it without lights)…Oh, maybe that is so I can find it at night so I can pee 24/7? ….Then he started decorating it? Now this is getting weird…a fancy pee place?
I go from the rustic outdoors to a , a neon, 42nd street, cheap brothel pee tree. What next? Am I to go from crapping on the grass to some sort of golden platter with a diamond, ( zirconia, no doubt) encrusted target? Or some ceramic throne to have to sit on?

   ………………………late update, I still have to pee and poop outside in the cold and have been told to stay away from the shrubbery. ……sigh.

Life Lesson: We on the “inside”, ( whether it be dogs, people or even shrubbery) are in a different club than those on the “outside”, but just as there are rules of the jungle, there are also rules of the indoors.