Mother’s Day!


In every other family but mine, mommies are getting spoiled today. My mommy is a spoiled brat every other day of the year so today she cooked for my daddy. This exhausted her so much that her blood pressure went up. My dad was cooking my food in the oven when he tried to figure out how to take my mommy’s blood pressure. He totally forgot about my food. So now I have to eat burnt food.

Is there a place where you could trade your mommy in and get a new one?

Life Lesson: Mommies are not perfect. But count yourself blessed if you have one.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

 

Punished


It had been crazy at my house this past week. Both my dad and mom had been very busy. They come home late. My dad is less patient with me than usual.

Remember the scaredy puppy from before? He is mostly gone. I have become bigger and bolder. You could say smarter too, as I just do not follow orders blindly. I do not follow the orders that do not make sense. Trouble waiting to happen.

My dad was moving things that he made to the new office. He is very particular and careful ┬ábecause he does not want to damage his work, or to hurt me. I was following him around and he told me to stop and stay. I didn’t want to so I kept following him around. He almost tripped on me. He got so mad, he started yelling and cursing at me. I thought he was going to hit me but my mom intervened.

If you looked at my mommy, you would think she’s the weakest link in my family. She weighs the least. She is soft and flabby. She cannot even run. She is always tired and weak. She never plays rough. She never ever yells. But that is when she is not mad.

When my daddy left, my mommy took me out the backyard without my leash. She stayed on the porch and just watched me. When I got to the edge of the house she told me to stop and go back. I really really wanted to do explore up to the front yard. I know the lay of the land and I could take care of myself, so I kept on going. She gave me another warning. When I did not go back, she came after me. I was already at the driveway when she got me. She scolded me in Filipino, spanked me in the butt, dragged all 160 lbs of me back all the way through the side of the house, the backyard, up the porch, inside the house, to the downstairs bathroom where she locked me up for 10 minutes.

I don’t think I want to get my mom mad anymore. At least, not until next week.

Life Lesson: No matter how old, or strong, or smart you get, it is always a good idea to NOT CROSS YOUR MOMMY.

 

@@@@@@DDKTED to Cynthia B.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

Waiting for Daddy


If there is one thing my mom is deathly allergic to, it is hard labor. Just thinking about it weakens her and makes her sick. It is her kryptonite. Only one thing would make her even consider doing hard labor, and that is getting charged a ridiculous amount for it.

My dad is working hard to get my mom’s new office ready. The floors need to be cleaned and the contractor suggested an “expert” who would do it for only $750. To clean brand new floors. And no, it does not include studding the floor with diamonds, nor putting in platinum moldings. Just regular cleaning and waxing. That is not going to take a month to do.

For $750, my mom is willing to do it herself, even if it kills her. She is lucky though, because my dad doesn’t trust her to do a good enough job. So he offered to do it for her. My mom, being Filipino, pretend insisted that she should help. But in truth, she was secretly happy that my dad said no, and just told her to take care of me.

So we went to the Long Dock Park, socialized with some ducklings, and met a bulldog named Thomas Meatball.

It’s already late and my dad is still on the second coat of wax. He plans to put six coats, but already it looks very good.

And now we wait, so we could show him some love.

Life Lesson: There is pleasure in being able to do a lot of things yourself.