My Parents Are Third-Graders


There’s a fine line between gross and funny. For some, there is no line at all.

We were having our early morning bonding time. My dad was lying crosswise on the bed with my mom’s butt as his head pillow. My mom and me were lying back to back. After a while my mom advised my dad that she might be releasing part-methane-part-hydrogen-part-sulfur-compound gases in the immediate future, so he should move out of the way. My dad being the considerate person that he is, had my mom hold it, then had me move so that my nose is on my mom’s butt. Then he told my mom to let it rip. She did. Then they both burst out laughing like third graders.

And I was like, “What??!!?”

Life Lesson: In the grand scheme of things, gross is only a small price to pay to get to funny.