Now MY Porch is Shrinking?

 It wasn’t that long ago that I could comfortable relax on my front porch. I used to have plenty of room to run around on it and play without ever leaving the saftey of the railing.

Maybe because of all of the rain we have been getting lately or maybe some sort of cosmic confluence of events such as Venus’s transit of the Sun, solar eclipses, lunar eclipses, full moons, comets, …I don’t know. All I know is there is a lot less room on the front porch.A LOT less!

Maybe the builder didn’t use the correct materials? Maybe someone is stealing some boards and moving the railing in?( some practicle joke that would be…….April Fools, I shrunk your porch!…indeed!)  It is not funny. hmmmm, wait ’till I find the culprit!

Life Lesson: Don’t let your youth or your porch slip away.

Solar Flares?

Sloar flares? Where? I don’t see no solar flares. Again another natural phenomenom that just doesn’t happen as advertised. I was waiting for something like a  Y2K moment….remember Y2K?.  Or the meteor showers that are always supposed to happen and I never see a “shower”. Or when a cool piece of space junk made by the commies is supposed to fall to Earth and never lands in my back yard.

Are the Mayans going to be right with their calender? Doubt it. My dads nephew , (Hi Donnie that is a plug for you),says that the Mayans didn’t account for leap year so the end of the world should have happened 7 months ago. Maybe it did and maybe it didn’t, but its like that tree that fell in the forest, if we didn’t pay attention to the end of the world did it really happen? Maybe they are off, maybe they had a time out or maybe it got lost in translation, maybe it will still end? I am sure for some people and dogs it was “the end of the world”. Maybe the Mayans were kinda’ melodramatic? Maybe they ran out of paper? Maybe we just haven’t found the newest “Ms. Mayan 2013” calander?

Am I supposed to be acting funny because of the solar flares? I know it was a full moon and I got big teeth and all hairy…but then again I am like that all the time. My dad doesn’t look any more tan or anything. He isn’t acting stranger….than usual.

Life Lesson: When facing solar flares, the end of the world, natural or man made destruction just remeber 2 things.

A). Get snacks.

B). It is NOT the dogs fault!

A Full Moon Tonight!

 look into my eye’s and do as I command! Bring me treats and cookies”

Did that work?  huh……c’mon go get me some snacks! Or else my evil ray eyes will shoot laser beams at you!

I was a normal everyday gut and then when the moon turns full, I grow Big teeth, Big ears, a Big eyes, and get hairy all over and my evil side comes out.

Maybe I just get this way when I am visited by beautiful fair maidens?

Life Lesson: When the moon is full, beware!……….and have some fun.