Win A Giant Teddy Bear!

Sometimes, even big things can be cute.

As of 3pm today, all of my daytime companions have been smaller than me. I really did not want to be the bully, but I couldn’t help it – there was no one else. I could easily bite their necks and shake them all around. Then I would break their skin and drain the stuffing out of them. Even my beloved Horsey was not spared. I hurt the ones I love.

But now I have Teddy. My dad got him for me. He thought that having company that is bigger than me would hopefully make me less fearful of things taller than me. He was pleasantly surprised that I was not afraid of him.  Also, I think he is hoping he will last longer than the others.

How about you dear reader? How long do you think he will last? My mom is going to give away Teddy’s twin to whoever guesses the date of his demise (defined as whenever his head is completely separate from his body).

To enter the contest, simply write Month Day Year of your guesstimate demise date at the Comments Section. Only one entry per commenter. The winner(s) should guess the right date, or will be the one closest.  My mom is willing to ship ANYWHERE. Good Luck!

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Small does not mean inferior.

Brin is a girl in my class. She is the smallest one but she is also the smartest. She learns things quickly. She is probably 1/10 my size, but she acts so regally I seem to be just her royal subject. My mom loved her at first sight. And I guess all the humans in my class did too. I cannot wait for the next class so I could see her again.

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She reminded me of another puppy who had also been cuter than me.

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Life Lesson: Friends come in all shapes and sizes – be open to all of them!

Back to school

Well, it was back to school today. I really didn’t want to go. Some people may have noticed by the way I did not want to get out of the car. Others may have noticed by the way my dad had to pick me up to carry me into the store. Once inside it was like “crap” I don’t want to be here, it is so wierd, I am not comfortable, I don’t know the rules, the “lay of the land”. What are the others going to think of me? Am I wierd? …I know I am wierder than the other kids! Will I have any friends? Will someone bully me? Will all the kids bully me? Will they make fun of me? SO many questions. SO many unknowns.

On the way to class I meet this hot little black lab named “Roxy”. But then we went our seperate ways and I was surrounded by all of the big tall scary things again. I still had to go. I had to get past them in order to get to class.

I got to class and I was still nervous, but then “Roxy” came in and then another cute little doggy came in. The other dog was named “Brin” and was a Shitzu, sooooo exotic. Suddenly alot of the big scary things didn’t seem so bad. I was with friends, and they were nice. We kind of flirted at first but as the class went on we got to know each other a little better and had some fun together. I started to feel a little bit more comfortable and relaxed a bit. Brin was a bit intimidated by my big oafish size, I guess I can’t blame her, but she accepted me anyway. Roxy and I bonded pretty quick and had fun.

I think it will all be alright.

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Life Lesson: Going to school may be scary, but there is just as much chance it will be fun. So try to ignore the scary parts and make the most of the fun parts.

Career Options

 Hi. My name is Meatball and I have a human-food habit.

I don’t like dog food anymore. At least dog food by itself. Aside from chicken, my dad has to add an egg, or chips or sometimes even oatmeal before I even go smell it. In the beginning I tried to eat at least a little bit, just to make sure I do not go hungry. But after being spoon-fed the good stuff, there is just no going back. I refused to touch my dish if it only had dog food and chicken in it. And because my dad is a mush and couldn’t stand my going hungry, after a couple of meals I have some form of human food integrated in my meals.

My tiger mom thinks that if I am going to be expensive to feed, I should be able to earn my keep. She wants me to be a movie star as I have the looks for it, but she thinks I should learn a trick that would distinguish me from other dogs first. She also wants to try reality TV but she thinks I am too nice and not trashy enough for it. She hopes I will make money from blogging, but she fears this will happen when she is too old to appreciate it. If worse comes to worst, she said she will just dress me up, and put a can beside me.

Life Lesson: If you have to have a vice, try to get one that you can afford, so you do not need to bust a butt trying to support it.

I’m Not There Yet!

It is hard to grow into who you are meant to be.

Hi!  My name is Meatball.  I am an English Mastiff and I am afraid of everything.  There is so much scary stuff around here, never mind that big ‘ole Mister Hairy Legs goes crazy every now and then – one moment he is all kissy and huggy, the next moment he is throwing things at you.

The neighbors’ dog across the street, maybe I’ll meet him someday, but he needs to chill. He barks his head off,  pulls at his leash like he wants to attack. Poor etiquette, at least where I come from.  Can you really blame me for freaking out.  Hairy Legs thinks it is embarrassing, he probably thinks I am a chicken.  And probably so does the other dog:(

Then there are the car trips.  Why do humans have go to so many places?  I do not think I mind the car ride as much as I mind being in a different place with different people, different smells every time.  It drives me nuts!  I get so scared, my heart starts racing, I can’t get enough air!  I think it reminds me of  the first time I met these humans, when I ended up NOT HOME.

Whatever my reasons, Hairy Legs tells me I shouldn’t be afraid.  That I am an English mastiff, destined to be more than 200 lbs, one of the mightiest of dogs.  What he doesn’t understand is whatever whoever thinks I will be, I am not there yet!  I reserve the right to be as scared, as shy, as weak, as cry-baby as I need to be!

Life Lesson:  You might never be what other people expect you to be, you might not be able to, or you might not want to, but in the meantime, it might not be a bad idea to Pretend.