Career Options

 Hi. My name is Meatball and I have a human-food habit.

I don’t like dog food anymore. At least dog food by itself. Aside from chicken, my dad has to add an egg, or chips or sometimes even oatmeal before I even go smell it. In the beginning I tried to eat at least a little bit, just to make sure I do not go hungry. But after being spoon-fed the good stuff, there is just no going back. I refused to touch my dish if it only had dog food and chicken in it. And because my dad is a mush and couldn’t stand my going hungry, after a couple of meals I have some form of human food integrated in my meals.

My tiger mom thinks that if I am going to be expensive to feed, I should be able to earn my keep. She wants me to be a movie star as I have the looks for it, but she thinks I should learn a trick that would distinguish me from other dogs first. She also wants to try reality TV but she thinks I am too nice and not trashy enough for it. She hopes I will make money from blogging, but she fears this will happen when she is too old to appreciate it. If worse comes to worst, she said she will just dress me up, and put a can beside me.

Life Lesson: If you have to have a vice, try to get one that you can afford, so you do not need to bust a butt trying to support it.

Kiss My A**!

  Once you understand the principle behind the engineering of an obstacle, no matter how complicated it may seem, you can still go through it.

My dad fortified the barricades in the stairway – there were heavier, stronger objects blocking it.  He used two big chairs that I had been afraid of.  I do not know why he thinks this is different than yesterday’s barricade.  You push things around so that you have a big enough space in the middle for you to go through.

My dad was working in his shop in the basement.  I was watching over my mom while she was fighting legions in her head horizontal on the couch.  My mom decided she has had enough and went upstairs to go to bed.  She made sure the barriers going up were sound.  I was upset because I was left alone again, and I hated that.  At first I tried the crying/whining trick.  This usually works with my dad, but very rarely with my mom.   After waiting a few minutes, I knew it was up to me to get me what I wanted, and so I did.

My mom bursts out laughing when she saw me – good sign.  But she promptly went downstairs to tell my dad to come and get me.  But they didn’t come and get me.  They stayed downstairs laughing, telling future imaginative stories about what I will do when I get older and heavier and smarter.  But I was upstairs left out!  I wanted to join the fun.

So I did the thing that surprised even me – I went downstairs, by myself, one step at a time!

Life Lesson:  You will never know the extent of what you can do until you reach the end of your rope, and you have nothing more to lose, and you just go ahead and DO IT.