Dinner Time!

 AH, dinner time. Dinner time is MY time! especially today. My dad ran out of the house this morning ’cause he was late and he didn’t feed me. He didn’t even make himself a cup of coffee!

I guess it is ok because I can sometimes be a picky eater at breakfast. Also he would usually come home at lunch and feed me if I didn’t get breakfast. But he never made it home for lunch either. OK, now this isn’t looking good.

So when they finally came home my dad made me a GREAT dinner. I love this recipe you guys shoud have your humans try it. It is:
4 cups of dog food,

1 cup of cooked liver, (leftover is ok if it has been reheated with some liquid),

1 leftover waffle, ( don’t ask where they got it from…doesn’t matter it is a WAFFLE!)

2 wendy’s cheeseburgers with out the fixings, (just bun, burger, and cheese)

Cut up one cheeseburger into small squares, mix with warm liver and cold waffle (also cut into squares) and then gently fold that into your dog food mix.  Yum!

Oh, and the other cheeseburger they just gave me whole and I ate it in one piece with half of it falling ou tof my mouth while I sort of chewed, so I ate the “fallings” off the floor.

THEN I still assumed my begging position at my moms side while she was eating, (humans eat so slow!) so my dad went to push me away! The indiginty of it all! HUMPH! I held my ground and gave my dad one of those WTF looks like “Wasup Wichu?”  so he went back to eating and I begged for naught.

Life Lesson: I know I had mine but you still have some so shouldn’t you share? What are you some evil 1%ers?

Begging from a Distance

There are certain rules and strategies when you are begging. You have to get to know the right time, yes as they say, “timing is everything”. But it is not the only thing. There are other things one must be aware of. You have to want what you are begging for, otherwise you look greedy if you do indeed get it and then turn it down. That will hinder your future chances to get ” the good stuff”. Mostly you have to know your “mark”.

Take the picture above. Do you see the subtleties? Notice the proximity, the look of want, ……. no NEED in my eyes, and the gentle paw of reassuredness that I do indeed love you, want you, and respect you for being ever so kind that you are being nice to me and feeding this poor starving puppy. In the end yes you are giving me some of what you have, but more importantly you are helping yourself to feel good and save your soul. You really should be thanking ME for giving me your stuff.

Now, sometimes some hardend old crumudgeons don’t fall for that act and can actually become downright ornery or dangerous if you want them to share their food. For this a different and safer stategy is used. I call it “long distance begging”. Notice the picture below.

As you can see I have the table and chair, very usefull obsacles, to protect me just in case the stingy old guy on the right “flys off the handle” like one of them stingy 1% rich conservative bast*&%#@*&ds.

Life Lesson: Educate yourself and hone your skills, they will take you far and also keep you safe.