Serial Pillow Killer


This is my serial killer face. Many of stuffed animals have frozen in fear when they saw this face….just before I ripped the stuffing out of them.

I can’t help it. It is a need I have. Once there is a hole and I smell a little bleeding or see a little stuffing showing through I need to get it, get it all.

Today I attacked a pillow. it ws old anyway but my dad doesn’t understand. He asks me “why?” There is NO Why! I just need to. it is like a drug. I HAVE TO GET THE STUFFING!

KILL THE PILLOW, KILL, KILL, KILL!!!!!!!.

Maybe if I explain  my hunting instincts? Maybe if I tell him my family background? Did you know that the Romans had legions of Mastiffs who wore armour into battle? They had spikes on top of their armour and would run under the cavalry horses of the enemy to rip out their stuffing. They would attack the enemy soldiers and rip out their stuffing too. …and in their off time they would guard the forts.  I’ll bet they didn’t get scolded when they ripped out the bad guys stuffing!……….it was a bad pillow.

So we had  alittle sit down…’er lie down talk and “discussed” this matter. It was good for him to waste his time telling me his point of view. I am sure he felt better afterwards. Me? I am still going on the hunt whenever the mood strikes, no evil pillow, no stuffed animal, no object of my chewing desire will ever be safe. I have a need to feed. I have to be true to  who I am. It is like that vampire and the werewolf guy , (where wolf, wear wolf, ?) in that movie, no not Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney, the twinklelight dudes, ok, ok Twilight kids, they got to be who they are …but nice who they are’s.

Life Lesson: Don’t take no crap from stuffed animals or pillows.

2 thoughts on “Serial Pillow Killer

  1. I totally agree dude!! Don’t these humans know that these pillows and stuffed animals hide things in their bellies? Could be bed bugs, doodle bugs or anything else that they feel the need to hide. It is our duty to seek out and rip apart the dreaded stuffing to expose the hidden secrets inside the stuffing. Why, just the other day I totally destroyed a sleeping bag that was given to Dixie to sleep on. I saw a “little tear” in the corner and could have sworn there was something peeking out. Well, needless to say, the stuffing was ripped out until I found that the sleeping bag was actually safe and so I gave it back to Dixie. Mom came downstairs that morning to find Dixie asleep on a pile of stuffing and me lying down beside her, proud that I kept the little tyke safe, but for some reason, Mom seemed a little annoyed. Well, go figure, we just need to keep doing what we do and hope for the best. Keep up the good work Meatball, hope to see you soon!!

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