I am being tortured! Water boarded, Chinese water torture…. I was tortured today! Someone call the cops. Call Congress. Call Amnesty International, the UN, the Dali Lama, the Anti – lama, call the ASPCA or Peta, CALL someone!
I didn’t do anything I swear, I know nothing, I am not a terrorist, I do not know anybody named Al Queda, I don’t even know anybody named Al !
Today all started so well. I had fun with my dad and we went for our walk. then he took me for a ride in the car……..and we went into town……..
Suddenly he pulls me into this place. the front was called ” Paws & Mittens” …a pet spa supposedly. However that was just a front. Once I got in their they had other prisioners in cages and were in the process of torturing other dogs. Some dogs were tethered to tables and were having warm air forced upon them while their hair was being brushed.
…….and my dad abandoned me……….
They dragged me into this water torture chamber and closed the door, but I was able to jump out. However they got me back in and tied my neck to the wall. then they proceeded to hose me doan and apply a chemical to me. the chemical got all sudsy and lathery and made me smell funny, nice or something like that, blech.
When they wered one with that they took me out and tied me to this rack on a table and tried to blow the air on me. I struggled and took a couple of them down and was able to break their “table of torture”. it was at that point they made a phone call and my dad came and got me. He probably saved me 45 minutes of torture. He got me home. I was still wet, but I didn’t talk. I may have barked a bit but I didn’t let them break me.
(To the very nice women at Paws & Mittens, I am, sorry for the struggle, bumps and bruises, and the broken table.)
Life Lesson: If you are going to put up a fight, put up a good one!
ps. Due to the sensitive national security implications no photographs or recordings were allowed during this incident…which by the way, never happened.