My Lucky Day!

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Dad gave me a big bone from a pork roast that he cooked! …and yes, I got a lot of the pork roast in my dinner too! Wooo  Hooooo! Pork roast and the pork bone! Effin YUM! …and this was after I broke my leash yestarday. yeah, I broke the unbreakable bungee leash, darn thing just snapped when I pulled. Ok, Ok, I pulled hard, Really hard…sort of.

Then later when a friend stopped by with Pizza….I scored a slice of Pizza! ….Pizza Pizza!

I mean can life get any better? Pizza with spinach and mushroom! You see I eat some veggies…..if they are on PIZZA!

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So there it is, Great food, a great toy/food item, a friendly visitor and being with family. what a great day!

Life Lesson: Treasure the small simple things, be happy and every day is your lucky day.

Lend A Helping Hand

There once was a movie “Cool Hand Luke” with Paul Newman and uh, I forgot, …I think it was George Kennedy. …this isn’t anything about that.

I just turned 19…19 months, so it is time for my daddy to see my Paws. I got four of them! This is kinda’ a “slap me five” picture, nice eh?

He likes to hold my hand, ‘er paw.  Didn’t the Beatles sing something like…”I wanna hold your paw”? My Dad says he’s lucky I don’t wear shoes because first of all I would eat them and second he would have to keep buying me bigger ones.

Still just showing off my Paws….and the spot of drool on my ankle.

Life Lesson: No matter what size shoe you have to fill, let your heart soar, let your spirit soar, and let your imagination soar,… but keep your feet on the ground and stay grounded

Casting Couch

I am not allowed on the couch. I am not allowed on the couch. I am not allowed on the couch! The couch is only for Mommy and Daddy.

SO, when Mommies sister comes over to visit and she walks right in and sits on the couch, I am like WOAAAAAH, What the heck do you think you are doing? DAS IS VERBOTTEN! I mean the gall to just come in and sit on the sacred couch! The exhaulted throne of Mom and Dad! I for one could hardly comprehend. What is this world coming to? Who died and left you queen?   Are you trying out for the part of my Mommy? No one said anything to me. I never got the memo.

So I felt it was my duty to protect the couch or at the very least check out Moms sister and see if she was up to any malfeance, (I’m just a dog did I spell that right?).  So what did I do? I jumped on top of the person who jumped on top of my Mommy and Daddy’s couch. …and I held her down! yes, that’s right if you cross some boundries I am going to hold you untill the proper authorities come….or untill I get tired or figure out that it is Ok….or get snacks. Snacks almost always work.

So if you are going to try out as a Mommy or Daddy replacement, bring plenty of snacks!

Life Lesson: Like rules, some people are very rigid in their following those rules and some people just sort of see them as “flexible guidlines”, you have to know which ones need to be followed to the letter and which ones can bend a bit.

Happy Thanksgiving! Dinosaur Bones! Dinosaur Bones!

Ok, I’m a little late with the Thanksgiving wishes but as you can see I was busy.  This is just a little “froth” from me chewing on my dinosaur bone that my daddy got me. Actually I think it is dinosaur skin.  If I work at it I can get it all chewy and it does get just a little sloppy. But it is SO worth it.

As you can see, not only does dad get me dinosaur bones he helps me hold them while I chew. What a guy! Turkey Shcmurkey, I want dino bones!

 ….the action shot!

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Life Lesson: Give thanks for all of the little unexpected pleasures and treasure you have.

On The Look Out!

Here I am doing my sworn duty. Doing my ancestral instinctive programing, doing my Job! This is what they pay me for, (ok I collect it in Love and treats). I am always at the ready to protect house and home, to protect my turf, and my pack. I may be a big mush most of the time, but I am ready to throw my 175lbs. of doggy into the fray if anybody I love is threatened.  So I watch, I wait, I listen and I smell, (but after I get a bath I smell good). I stand guard and I am ever vigilant. My big choppers can break tree branches stronger than your arm, (really I saw it in a video!…on youtube).

I will hold down the fort and I will be your body guard

 (me 7 months ago…and I’m not getting any smaller).

Yet at the same time, I can be the softest, friendliest, most loyal and loving friend. I am calm and gentle, even with little children crawling and climing all over me, (more youtube video proof is out there). I can be playful and get along with others even other doggies that are 2% of my size.

So always respect me but if you are nice you needn’t fear me.

Life Lesson: Be nice to doggies and their familes. …heck,.. be nice to everyone

Serial Pillow Killer

This is my serial killer face. Many of stuffed animals have frozen in fear when they saw this face….just before I ripped the stuffing out of them.

I can’t help it. It is a need I have. Once there is a hole and I smell a little bleeding or see a little stuffing showing through I need to get it, get it all.

Today I attacked a pillow. it ws old anyway but my dad doesn’t understand. He asks me “why?” There is NO Why! I just need to. it is like a drug. I HAVE TO GET THE STUFFING!


Maybe if I explain  my hunting instincts? Maybe if I tell him my family background? Did you know that the Romans had legions of Mastiffs who wore armour into battle? They had spikes on top of their armour and would run under the cavalry horses of the enemy to rip out their stuffing. They would attack the enemy soldiers and rip out their stuffing too. …and in their off time they would guard the forts.  I’ll bet they didn’t get scolded when they ripped out the bad guys stuffing!……….it was a bad pillow.

So we had  alittle sit down…’er lie down talk and “discussed” this matter. It was good for him to waste his time telling me his point of view. I am sure he felt better afterwards. Me? I am still going on the hunt whenever the mood strikes, no evil pillow, no stuffed animal, no object of my chewing desire will ever be safe. I have a need to feed. I have to be true to  who I am. It is like that vampire and the werewolf guy , (where wolf, wear wolf, ?) in that movie, no not Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney, the twinklelight dudes, ok, ok Twilight kids, they got to be who they are …but nice who they are’s.

Life Lesson: Don’t take no crap from stuffed animals or pillows.

Dinner With Daddy

Usually Daddy doesn’t like it when I watch him eat, he kinda’ gives me a disapprovong look and tells me to go lie down. LIE DOWN!? Hey Dude I am HUNGRY and I want what you have! friggin’ Republican, doesn’t like to share the wealth! yeah, the Big man feasts and us poor lowly servants to the master must starve! Down with the System! …uh, oh yeah, he feeds me, walks me, takes care of my every need, but is that enough? I Say NO! I still want more! I want it all!….. and when he has none left, he better get more for me! Somebody has to!…and it better be somebody else, I am NOT doing stuff for myself! I refuse to be accountable and responsible! My job is to have somebody take care of me!

…ok, phew ranting can get me tired and hungry.

So after begging my daddy, he made me my dinner, and because he is worried about me, since I don’t like my dog food lately….He made me Chicken and rice with some veggies in it!  yeah, that’s right an entire leg and thigh with a few cups of rice and some veggies too. YUM!

Life Lesson: WoooooHooo, see what a little hunger strike can do.


Meatball was too terified and embarassed to write this post tonight, so his daddy is writing. The picture above is still how he sees himself sometimes.

Tonight we were watching TV and Meatball fell asleep while we were watching. At first we watched the Ben Stiller movie “Tower Heist”, then we were watching some other thing on TV that had growling bigfoot noises In the background. He must have heard the noises and worked them into his dreams. He was just sleeping away and  then SUDDENLY he JUMPED UP and ran like the biggest scaredy cat across the living room and half way up the stairs. He was slipping and flopping all around looking for traction and losing his footing the entire way. He got to the landing and looked back and looked at us wondering why we weren’t running. It was sooo funny and sudden.

We convinced him to come back down, at first he was looking all around and acting like he was ready to run again. Finally we convinced him it was ok and he himself checked out everything. It took a little bit of comforting to get him back, SO I guess dogs do have nightmares!

Life Lesson: Even the Big Dogs get scared sometimes

Annoying Little Man

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I love my daddy, but sometimes he is just a jerk. He can be so annying! Yes, Yes, I know I am annoying too sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I like to play and bother him and knock him down. Sometimes I like to sit on him and not let him up. Sometimes I need to go out and pee just when the “good part” of the movie is happening, (DVR it fool!)

BUT, my daddy knows that it annoys me when he blows in my ears and I think he teases me just to get me to bite him. Teasing is like bullying and it is no longer OK. Can’t we all just get along?

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Life Lesson: When someone teases you or bullys you strike back swift and hard!


HELP !!!!

HELP !!!!

I am being tortured! Water boarded, Chinese water torture…. I was tortured today! Someone call the cops. Call Congress. Call Amnesty International, the UN, the Dali Lama, the Anti – lama, call the ASPCA or Peta, CALL someone!

I didn’t do anything I swear, I know nothing, I am not a terrorist, I do not know anybody named Al Queda, I don’t even know anybody named Al !

Today all started so well. I had fun with my dad and we went for our walk. then he took me for a ride in the car……..and we went into town……..

Suddenly he pulls me into this place. the front was called ” Paws & Mittens” …a pet spa supposedly. However that was just a front. Once I got in their they had other prisioners in cages and were in the process of torturing other dogs. Some dogs were tethered to tables and were having warm air forced upon them while their hair was being brushed.

…….and my dad abandoned me……….

They dragged me into this water torture chamber and closed the door, but I was able to jump out. However they got me back in and tied my neck to the wall. then they proceeded to hose me doan and apply a chemical to me. the chemical got all sudsy and lathery and made me smell funny, nice or something like that, blech.

When they wered one with that they took me out and tied me to this rack on a table and tried to blow the air on me. I struggled and took a couple of them down and was able to break their “table of torture”.  it was at that point they made a phone call and my dad came and got me. He probably saved me 45 minutes of torture. He got me home. I was still wet, but I didn’t talk. I may have barked a bit but I didn’t let them break me.

(To the very nice women at Paws & Mittens, I am, sorry for the struggle, bumps and bruises, and the broken table.)

Life Lesson: If you are going to put up a fight, put up a good one!

ps. Due to the sensitive national security implications no photographs or recordings were allowed during this incident…which by the way, never happened.