Dad: I took Meatball off his leash and he was running around IN CIRCLES, like a nut

Mom: Sprinklers? Why did you run the sprinklers, it RAINED ALL DAY YESTERDAY

Dad: Ryder? (my play pal) What does Ryder have to do with it?

Mom: Ryder was here??!

I can’t wait for Real Old Age.

Life Lesson: Secret To A Happy Marriage: Have amiable, unrelated, totally separate conversations With Yourself, while you are with Each Other.

Counter Intellegence

I almost always seem to know when there is something On the counter that I want. It is almost freaky. I just know it, I just know that somestuff on the counter is boring and some stuff has been put there to keep away from me…and that is the stuff I want.

…and I usually get what I want! Call me spoiled, call me a charmer, call me oportunistic, I don’t care. I am now big enough to grab what is there. I do not like being denied!

…and usually what you are trying to keep from me, the object of my desires…is mine anyway

Life Lesson: Be creative, the same old hiding places become too easy after awhile.

I Want To Hold Your Hand

A group called “the Beatles” had a song like that…I want to hold your hand…guess they didn’t mean paws….. kinda’ catchy though. …but then they all wanted to go and live in a yellow submarine and thought they were a walrus and other stupid stuff like that, what do you expect being named after ugly bugs.

Well, tomorrow, (Wednesday the 27th) I will be 17 months old, is there a sweet 17? Even though I am going to start getting to be big soon I still like to hold my daddy’s hand.

Recently he made me a nice new toy as a present. he bought a big thick rope and tied it into knots on each end and in the middle and now I have a pull toy. It has become one of my favorite toys. What I really think I want however is a live new puppy toy. It would be so much fun to have a puppy around to play with, especially when mom and dad aren’t home. I don’t think a puppy would hold my hand though. He/she might end up being a handfull!

My other favorite toy is now gone….my moms slippers….I ate them…lambs wool….and they were good. Now my mom has to go around bare foot.  …did you ever have bear claws…mmmm, I like bearclaws, they are so good….ooops, my mind went to food again….

If my mom ever gets new slippers, then I think I might be able to wear them too. Of course they may be too small for me…..never should have eaten the good ones. ooops.

Life Lesson: Hold someones hand, it will do you both good.

Talking Heads

It is said that two heads are better than one. My dad and I have an ongoing argument on who’s head is bigger.  I think mine is. My mom thinks mine is also. My dad insists his head is bigger. He must have a big head to think his head is bigger. What do you think?  It is up for a vote.

My moms head is the smallest, but she thinks she is the smartest, so does that mean she has the biggest head? (I know I am smartest, because they take care of me, not the other way around)!

 Now this is Gina…I am bigger than all of her, so I KNOW I have a bigger head…no question there!………..Hi Gina.

Life Lesson: It is not the size of your head that matters, it is the size of your ideas!

……And In Other Exciting News……

I went to the park today, my dad walked me all over the place and near the end of our walk we ran into Dixie. …Uh, she is not in this picture, apparently there was a mix up back at HQ and the editorial staff lost Dixie’s picture. Dixie is a small, maybe 30lb. German Shepard Puppy. She is full of energy, very cute, and is going to be a real superhero type of dog someday, like UnderDog or one of the Avengers or something.

Also it is now officially Autumn, yay no more heat and humidity…but the cold is coming. So is Octoberfest, Halloween, Thanksgiving, (unless you don’t give thanks), then …uh, you lose.

…and the best for last

…Did you here about the nutjob who wanted to “be one with the tigers” at the Bronx Zoo? Yeah, some dummy jumped from the monorail into the tiger den.  One tiger decided to play along and dragged him by his foot, which is now tiger chow, untill the tiger babysitter turned the fire hose on said tiger and got the stupid guy out of there before the rest of him became tigerchow. I wonder why the zoo worker didn’t just watch instead of trying to save the guy? I mean how often do you get to see such a spectacle? I myself would love to watch something like that, especially if the guy volunteered to feed the tigers…with himself. The tiger was about 400 lbs they say. That is like more than two of me playing with a stuffed man, ok he wasn’t exactly stuffed, but he had upstairs wasn’t much better than stuffing, if ya’ know what I mean. Maybe he should just adopt a house cat…or get a stuffed animal and call it a day.

Life Lesson: The saesons change, crazy people are entertaining, and friends are even better.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream…or Chicken Nuggets.

Mom and Dad took me to the park today. It was nice we went by the waterfall and almost met another dog. My dad asked the other guy if his dog was friendly, I really wanted to play. But the other guy said, “no he’s a pitbull”….? Huh, SO? Almost all of the pitbulls I ever met were fabulously nice and playfull. His dog looked like all playfull too. Ooooohh, a pitbull oooohhh,Little dog! He wasn’t even all pit, he had a lot of lab in him or something…and he was waggin’ his tail. Ohwell, I guess not everyone wants to play.

ANYWAY, then we went to the other park and went to Ron’s Ice Cream stand. I didn’t get ice cream though. I got something better, chicken nuggets! wooohoooo.I wonder if they can be called Chicken McRon Nuggets?

Life Lesson: I think my dad should lay off the ice cream, let him scream all he wants.

Its a Dog Eat Dog World!

Yes, it is a “dog eat dog world”. Not that I should have to but I can prove it. The other day my dad was going to take me to the office, but he had to do some errands first. So we went to UPS first to drop off a package, then we had to go to the bank to get some cash, then we had to go to USPS, (the post office) to mail some mail. Just outside of the Beacon post office is Frank the Hot Dog Guy, so my dad got a hotdog with chili for him and a plain dog with nuthin’ on it for me. We ate our own dogs in complete bliss.Of course I finished mine first and then wanted some of his, but he wasn’t in a sharing mood……….damn Republican!

Anyway I had a good time at the office and said “Hi” to Madge, Mom, Lynn, Ros.  and a few patients. we also went to the bank to do some office deposits and then home. Phew, that was a tiring trip….but I got to eat a dog, Yum!

I wonder why there are no “hotcats”? No food named after cats? I mean there are Buffalo burgers,hot DOGs, Buffalo wings, (poor buffalo they can’t catch a break), Shark fin soup, etc. No cats, No catburgers, nothing. Well, I am hoping there is no real dog in a hot dog….not that I wouldn’t eat it or anything, just saying I’d rather not be a cannibal…………..too much. Then again, that may be better than whatever really is in a hotdog. I’d better not ask.

Life Lesson: Spend some time with your dad and have a dog but don’t ask too many questions, sometimes it is better to just enjoy the moment in ignorance.

Love Story…and other dumb movies

 Here I am snacking on a bone instead of watching dumb movies with my mom and dad.

My mom wanted to watch “Love Story”, (Ryan O’neil and Ali McGraw, I think) and made my dad watch also. what a bunch of overblown hyped up cinematic crap that movie was! It’s like the time they watched “Breakfast at Tiffanys” Blah! They never even got to eat, no pancakes, no eggs, no omlets, no french toast, not even oatmeal! The best part of that movie was seeing the cat drenched and stuck out in the rain, even I felt bad …for the cat …and for watching that movie. Ok, I just remebered, there was another good part, when Buddy Epson asked the dumb girl, whatshername, “what about the chirren, who gonna’ take care of the chirren” …cool accent.

 Thats my dad holding my bone while I chew, ………because I am spoiled and don’t want to hold it myself, and because he would rather do that than sit through the movie, thats why!

Then there is that big movie of the year…”Black Swan” with that Padme chick from Star wars only anorexic this time, Natalie Portman…It is so bad they can’t even watch more than 15 or 20 minutes of it at a time.  It just drags on and on about some tortuous story of an nut job ballerina. We haven’t seen the whole movie yet, maybe we’re half way through, but unless there is a car chase, explosions , and an orgy soon, that movie is a waste, because it certainly isn’t getting by on its story. It is mind numbing. Infact this video shows you what I think about that movie….I’d rather go lick my naughty bits!

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Life Lesson: Sometimes an award winning movie just isn’t entertaining and isn’t that what movies are supposed to be? Go watch a “bad” movie and enjoy it.

Mine, Mine, all Mine!

Yeah, this is thought to be my dad’s car, one of them, but the other day I claimed it, so now it is mine. I have always wanted a Volkwagen TDI Jetta Sportwagen. You see being of the canine persuasian I get to claim things and then they become mine. I am not sure if that is capitalist because I can just make a grab and take it, or if it is communist, because I can re-distribute what someone else has earned and now take it?

How do I go about claiming it you ask?  …I just went out and pee’d on it….so now it is mine! (sorry no photos of me peeing on my dad’s car, this is supposed to be a family blog).

He was a little “pissed” at me, (sorry for the pun). We left the house to go on our usual walk, typically I would mark the corner of the lawn. However I passed that and when my dad was looking somewhere else I just lifted my leg and ….by the time he turned and saw me, (wondering why I stopped), I had claimed the back bumper. Hey it is no different than an old time explorer sticking his countries flag into someone elses land and claiming it for the crown. We have all seen that astronaught guy stick a flag on the moon…I put my marker on dad’s car and now it is mine! tough luck, …………now where are the keys? Only kidding I don’t want to drive it myself. I will still use dad as my chaffeur.

Ok, gotta go….wind in the hair, nose, ears, snout wheeeee….

Life Lesson: If you are going to pee on a car and claim it, don’t pee on the station wagon, pee on the convertible or the Maserati! …..however than you may not live to see your next ride.

A Walk in the Sun

 Hi, This is what a portrait of me would look like when I want to go out. Yes, “go out” . It means I have to pee, or poop, or am faking it because I wan tto be outside.

It was a fantastik day today and I wanted to be out as much as poossible. Hey, they have ASAP for “as soon as possible”, I am going to invent AMAP for “as much as possible”.  Ok, where was I? Dog brain gets easilly distracted…..

Oh yeah, I wanted to go to the park or anywhere. I just wanted to go out for a walk in this beautiful sunny day!

 Here is my happy outdoor face, pretty impressive huh?

So it doesn’t matter if you live in Greenland or Iceland. If you live in Africa or Antartica. If you live in Ecuador,  Bolivia, Venuzuela, Estonia, Latvia or Lithuania, or if you are in any other countries where no one has read my blog. Take a walk in the Sun, (read my blog first!)

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Life Lsson: Go out and Play