Visitors From Another Planet

 Ok, first of all, sorry Gina with a capital SORRY! I didn’t mean to imply that you are from another planet. It is just that I needed a snappy title to catch peoples attention so they read my blog.

This is a nice picture, no? I look like a big dog in this picture, no? I was so happy beacuse I had a visitor the whole week. We had fun. An extra person to play with, what is not to like, eh? (oops my Canadian accent started to show through).

More importantly, another human to train. The more humans I can train to serve me in the manner I would like to be served the better. It is part of my plan for world domination. My head is bigger than yours so I must have a bigger brain, kinda’ like “Mega Mind”.

All I need now are opposable thumbs!

 You see, she is already starting to pamper me. I send out thought waves that I would like my ears rubbed and she starts to respond and rubbs my ears.

 Here I absorb all of the attention I can get and play very nonchalant about it.  She thinks she had so much and all of the time she was just responding to my brain waves and subtle gestures inducing her to please me.   HA! My plan is fool proof!

Life Lesson: People will be glad to please you if you just let them.


It was 93 F today in Beacon, NY but with the humidity, it felt like 105. But my fur coat did not stop me today. I dragged my mom and my dad to a half mile hike to the park. It was like jogging in a sauna. But we had cotton candy ice cream after. Life is still good.

Life Lesson: It is not too hot if you have ice cream.

Heat Wave!

Everybody loves a fur coat! Oooooh, is that a mink? Rabbit? Fox?  It is like, “Oh Dahling you look fabulous!”

Well let me tell you something, when you have to live with a fur coat 24/7 in this heat, it ain’t no fun! It is Sooooo hot and I don’t mean “Hot”, I mean just plain old lousy, sweaty, smelly, crappy hot. Blech!

This is why there are wonderful things like the Majestic Hudson River So I can go swimming. Well almost swimming, sort of swimming? maybe kinda’ a little bit in the water getting my feet wet swimming.

Maybe I feel I am too big and won’t float? Labs float, they swim. I’m too fat.           Crazy labs, show offs, go to London swim in the Olympics would ya’. Maybe I would be happier with a kiddie pool? Who needs the majestic Hudson River anyway.

This video doesn’t exist
This video doesn’t exist

Life Lesson: One persons luxury is another’s pain in the ..uh, tushie.

Mommy Deerest? or maybe OH DEER? or Deer Friends, or Deer Me!

Ok, I have no picture of the event. It all happened too fast. I was walking with my dad this morning our usual walk down to the little field at the end of the road. I peed and pooped, (A really good poop by the way), Then all of a sudden as we were about to start walking back………… A little baby deer, I think they’re called a fawn ran right up to me…………well almost. He/she got about ten feet away and then saw my dad and then changed direction and ran across the road. He was heading right to me untill he saw my dad.

I htink he thought I was another deer and wanted to play or something. He was small, maybe half my size..ok maybe 3/4 my size. I almost started to chase but didn’t. we just stared at each other from across the street. So my dad knowing that we were probably seperating him from his mom figured we should start walking away. Just then we heard a snorting behind us and low and behold there was mom….and kinda’ pissed. So we walked away and she ran into the woods.

We went home, I almost but didn’t make a new deer friend and we figured mommy dearest and baby deer reunited.

WOW! that was different!

Life Lesson: Us kids could probably play and accept all different species, but the parents seem to get in the way. Kinda’ like Romeo and Julliet or the Hatfields and McCoys, Road Runner and Wyle Coyote, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fud etc….you get the idea.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatball

 I really like it when my dad grills. He has this grill that seems to keep getting smaller. I think it is the rain. Maybe it is the really hot weather that starts to melt it, then the rain gets it wet, then it gets hot again and the grill shrinks.  That is my guess, (but what do I know I am just a dog).

I mostly like the cool weather. I don’t mind if it is raining, hardly seem to notice in fact. The only things I don’t care for is A). my dad feels compelled to try to dry my feet off when we go back in.  B). if it rains a lot he gets grumpy, (but what does he know he is just a human). and C). If it is really raining hard he trys to avoid walking me. I don’t mind getting wet and I have to pee reguardless if it is raining hard or not!

It is nice when the rain is refreshing and does helpful stuff like cooling things off or filling the bird bath so I can drink out of it, stuff like that. It would be really cool if it rained something better than water though. I wish it would rain treats, cookies, meat would also be nice, ( my guess it is water and that is that).

Now thunder and lightning is ok too. Some don’t care for it but it never seems to bother me. Hey I bark and the sky thunders….. to each his own.

Life Lesson: Even if it is raining outside, don’t let it rain inside.


I am not the only cute doggie in the blogosphere! And little by little I am learning more about them. There is Mango and Dexter( Mango is also an English Mastiff. And there is Dusty (, who is also having a cute picture contest for his birthday.

And this is my entry:

Who can resist my crooked teeth? My I-got-a-cake-and-ate-it-too smirk? I hope I win!

Life Lesson: Take a chance. It probably will cost you next to nothing, and the rewards will be worth it.


Dinner Time!

 AH, dinner time. Dinner time is MY time! especially today. My dad ran out of the house this morning ’cause he was late and he didn’t feed me. He didn’t even make himself a cup of coffee!

I guess it is ok because I can sometimes be a picky eater at breakfast. Also he would usually come home at lunch and feed me if I didn’t get breakfast. But he never made it home for lunch either. OK, now this isn’t looking good.

So when they finally came home my dad made me a GREAT dinner. I love this recipe you guys shoud have your humans try it. It is:
4 cups of dog food,

1 cup of cooked liver, (leftover is ok if it has been reheated with some liquid),

1 leftover waffle, ( don’t ask where they got it from…doesn’t matter it is a WAFFLE!)

2 wendy’s cheeseburgers with out the fixings, (just bun, burger, and cheese)

Cut up one cheeseburger into small squares, mix with warm liver and cold waffle (also cut into squares) and then gently fold that into your dog food mix.  Yum!

Oh, and the other cheeseburger they just gave me whole and I ate it in one piece with half of it falling ou tof my mouth while I sort of chewed, so I ate the “fallings” off the floor.

THEN I still assumed my begging position at my moms side while she was eating, (humans eat so slow!) so my dad went to push me away! The indiginty of it all! HUMPH! I held my ground and gave my dad one of those WTF looks like “Wasup Wichu?”  so he went back to eating and I begged for naught.

Life Lesson: I know I had mine but you still have some so shouldn’t you share? What are you some evil 1%ers?

Bear Hunting and Other Mastiff Activities

I slaughtered the bear, my friend Teddy, as the aligator looked on. I couldn’t help it. It is in my genes, my DNA, my pre programed reason for being, my purpose.  It is part of my family occupation, My dad did this and his dad before him. Even going way back my great great grand dad also was into bear hunts. My moms side also. We also specialized in lion hunting, and guarding forts. My ancestors even went to war. Entire brigades of us in armour running straight at the enemy.

It is not my fault it wasn’t our fault. The Romans trained us to do this. they must of had some vocational trade schools set up and us Mastiffs probably did well on the vocational testing at these sorts of things. I guess we excel at things like being the bouncer at a Roman fort or nowdays maybe if us dogs could get our own football league I can be a linebacker or maybe just an offensive or defensive lineman?

So I plead not guilty by reason of …………’’s what I am meant to do. A little voice in my head says, “Kill the Bear, kill it, kill it now.” I guess a PR firm like in Mad Men or maybe say a defense lawyer or a politician would put a positive spin on it and say, “I released the white flufy stuffing trapped inside the bear, so it could be free, and so the bear was no longer encumbered by the weight of his insides.”


I know it looks like carnage and probably like an earlier picture of one of his family…….

I am thinking this may start to look bad for me, “Do I need a lawyer?”

Life Lesson: You are who you are, be proud and unapologetic, be happy, (unless you are a teddy bear living with a mastiff….then RUN!)

Mr. Deer and Mr. Rabbit

Mr. Deer and Mr. Rabbit

Where we live is almost like a Beatrix Potter story place. And our stories could be Beatrix Potter stories – only in ours, the parents get in trouble too.

Our backyard continues on to be a wetland/sanctuary, so we have a lot of animals without humans to take care of running around in our backyard. We have Bert (short for Colbert), a groundhog who lives just at the very edge of our property. We see him a lot  but he usually is running so by the time my mommy gets her camera out, he is long gone.

Across the street from, there is also a small woodland that is part of a park. A lot of animals hang out there too. There is a groundhog family there that our Bert visit sometimes. We know because we sometimes see Bert coming from there.

Then there is deer EVERYWHERE. We have so much deer that the humans in our county would have deer culling every so often. They are probably afraid that the deer someday realize that they can probably defeat the humans in a revolution. They are probably right.

There is also Mr. Red Fox. You could see him sometimes crossing the street with a baby groundhog in his mouth. He is probably not babysitting.

Then there is Mr. Deer and Mr. Rabbit. Mr. Rabbit is a little brown rabbit who lives underneath the deck of out next door neighbor. He is friends with a particular young deer, and who we call Mr. Deer. We know they are friends because Mr. Deer would often visit and will venture close to the deck just to be with Mr. Rabbit. We saw them both one time sitting in the back lawn together, gossiping like old ladies. I wish I could be friends with them too.

Mr. Rabbit, in case you cannot see him from the above pic

They may not be friends for long though, if my Mommy has her way. She wants Mr. Rabbit. She does not even know what for. And she doesn’t even know what she will do with him if and when she does get him. She just knows that she wants him. Maybe because he is cute. Or maybe because he is the only one that she can realistically capture. But she is not even willing to go get him herself. One time when we were walking and we saw Mr. Rabbit happily hopping on his way home, and she told me to “Go get it!”. I just looked at her funny and wished Mr. Rabbit good luck on his way home. If there is anybody wild in our community, it is probably my Mommy. She is lucky she has me and my dad distracting her so she will not give in to her dark side.

This video doesn’t exist
This video doesn’t exist

Life Lesson: You should also prepare for success. – Christopher Ungaro, Wise Man, Daddy, Best Friend



Homeless At Home

Sharing is No Fun – especially if you are made to share and you end up with nothing.

My four lolas (grandmothers) came to visit us this weekend. They have my mom’s afraid-of-dogs gene so they mostly try to stay away from me. They would pet me but they are tentative at best. But I was still excited because we had company. Until bedtime. My mom gave them all the real beds in the house (which are all MY beds). And I was not even allowed to enter the rooms, MY rooms. My mom, my dad and me all slept downstairs in the pull-out sofa bed (which is also the off-limits couch). I felt confused and put out. My dad tried to get me to get on the couch-bed, but I was like, “I’m not allowed in the couch!”. So I spent all night sleeping on the hard hardwood floors.

Come breakfast time, I had all their good leftovers. Now I love them.

Life Lesson: Be hospitable. You never know when you will be in need of kindness, generosity or shelter.