Where Oh Where to Poop?

Humans just don’t get it. They say things like, “lets’ go outside and be good boy” or “c’mon lets go for a walk”, (code for let’s go pee and poop).  So, they take me outside and then are in some sort of rush for me to go. HEY! A dogs got to smell around first! I can’t just go anywhere. You must take time and smell the …uh…territory. I got to mark my land. How else will the other dogs, cats, woodchucks, deer, and whatever else is lurking out there know I am here and this is MY TURF!!!, That’s right, mine. 

It’s like this, you have to smell around, this may be a good spot, but over there hasn’t been covered in a while, hmmm, then there is the neighbors yard, maybe I can make a little territory land grab by pooping there. It’s virgin poop territory afterall. A dog has to weigh all of these factors. Should I go there where I have gone before just to emphasize it is my spot or should I go over there and expand my land?  Then again does that spot smell right? By now dad is getting very impatient, it is 3:00 am after all and I woke him up…but still a good pooping means a lot.  Ooops, pretty soon I think he is just going to squeeze my sides and make it come out. OK I’m going here…no wait, ..just a litle down further…then maybe a litle to the right. Ok, OK, I’m going.  Something tells me I have gone here before, Is someone removing my poop from the yard? Holy crap then just about anyone can come in and claim my land! I’m going to make sure I poop a whole lot more.

Life Lesson: When you have something important to do make sure you pick your place and time well. As they say location, location, location!

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1 thought on “Where Oh Where to Poop?

  1. You just go ahead and find the spot that you’re most comfortable with. You just tell them you have organic fertilizer. You’re part of the “green movement”.
    You can poop anywhere, but not on my grass.

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