Eating is a gift and a pleasure. Yet it is also one of those life activities where differences in cultures, upbringing, or even just personalities are brought to the fore, bringing much aggravation, laughter and all around craziness.
I am not allowed to eat just anything. I have prescribed food in prescribed amounts, prepared in a certain kind of way, that my dad follows to the letter. My dad would boil some Buffalo Blue Healthy Holistic Large Breed Puppy Protection Formula with LifeSource Bits. My mom thought this was hilarious. She said that anything and everything is technically a life source bit (or death source bit), depending on perspective and marketing.
My treats are Cage Free Duck Breast with Glucosamine and Chondroitin. My dad has a grab bag with pig parts – snout, ears, tail, excess skin, for when I had been especially good. He thinks my mom makes fun of his food rules because she is jealous, she just wants my treats for herself.
She wanted to feed me stuff and it frustrated her that she couldn’t. She argued that there are millions of other dogs who are not on life source bits and they are fine. He would counter argue that the dogs that she knows do not have to be fine for long as they become life source bits themselves. Filipinos will find a way to eat anything, including rare sharks (www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2009-04-07-shark_N.htm), and the expensive coffee producing palm civet, so dogs are fair game.
Dear Mr. CEOs or Marketing People of Above Mentioned Products,
I am turning out to be a fine specimen of a dog, thanks to you. If you have a need for a puppy model, I am available. This is the time, as I am still unknown, therefore, cheap. I swear that my mommy has never fed me kare-kare with bagoong and rice. I have never had dinuguan nor palabok, not even leftover fried chicken wings. Just the finest in LifeSource Bits.
Life Lesson: What goes in is important, but as important is what comes out – it should be soft, smooth, suave – so it wouldn’t hurt your ass.