Bear Hunting and Other Mastiff Activities


I slaughtered the bear, my friend Teddy, as the aligator looked on. I couldn’t help it. It is in my genes, my DNA, my pre programed reason for being, my purpose.  It is part of my family occupation, My dad did this and his dad before him. Even going way back my great great grand dad also was into bear hunts. My moms side also. We also specialized in lion hunting, and guarding forts. My ancestors even went to war. Entire brigades of us in armour running straight at the enemy.

It is not my fault it wasn’t our fault. The Romans trained us to do this. they must of had some vocational trade schools set up and us Mastiffs probably did well on the vocational testing at these sorts of things. I guess we excel at things like being the bouncer at a Roman fort or nowdays maybe if us dogs could get our own football league I can be a linebacker or maybe just an offensive or defensive lineman?

So I plead not guilty by reason of …………’um.it’s what I am meant to do. A little voice in my head says, “Kill the Bear, kill it, kill it now.” I guess a PR firm like in Mad Men or maybe say a defense lawyer or a politician would put a positive spin on it and say, “I released the white flufy stuffing trapped inside the bear, so it could be free, and so the bear was no longer encumbered by the weight of his insides.”

 

I know it looks like carnage and probably like an earlier picture of one of his family…….

I am thinking this may start to look bad for me, “Do I need a lawyer?”

Life Lesson: You are who you are, be proud and unapologetic, be happy, (unless you are a teddy bear living with a mastiff….then RUN!)

Too Embarassing for photos!


Ok, this is going to be short. I don’t want photos because sooner or later they will come back to haunt me. I don’t want to be in the unfortunate position of say some politician or movie star, where something I did, or was to have been porportive to have done,when I was younger comes back to haunt me as a major scandal, when I run for office or become famous.

I mean really, poor Herman Caine. there is no proof, only accusations from some…. well, lets say dubious charecters with new found and unknown financial backing, whose personal motives are still unclear. Or say, Kim Kardashian. A sweet uncommonly attractive woman, who may have made a youthful indiscretion and was out there for others to take advantage of.

No, not me. I am saying this now as damage control for when I become a celebrity. I am coming clean. Lets end the rumors and contriversy before it starts!
 YES, my mom did spoon feed me some of my dinner last week.     OK, Ok, I was acting a bit the spoiled diva, maybe a bit “bratty movie star ish”.       and I did enjoy it!

BUT, I don’t want to let the tabloids run amok and start all sorts of rumors that I am always a spoon fed baby……………. I just sometimes can be particular and it does feel nice for someone to spoil you occasionally.

S there, its out there now, ..end of story!

Life Lesson: Admit your flaws and indiscretions right away, it is the best form of damage control, i.e. take your lumps and move on.

Ok, One picture just for the camera………