Political Animals !?


 I am somewhat confused.

Sometimes my dad refers to me as a liberal dog. He says that because I sleep all day, rely on him to walk, excersize, and play with me. Then I eat all of my food and beg him to share his food with me because I have none and he is so “rich” “filthy rich” and has SO much and I have none. After I have finished mine he should be nice and share!

Sometimes he calls me a conservative dog because I am heartless and I do things like bear hunts. I enjoy ripping the stuffing out of other animals, arrgh. Also I get to ride in the back seat of the car like a some sort of silver spoon big wig with a chauffeur, ahhh the good life.

But Me, I think I am moderate because I like both and am mostly somewhere in the middle. Most of the time I am apolitical as long as the donkeys and the elephants don’t screw things up. 

Life Lesson: In the end Peter Townsend, Roger Daltrey and the Who were right. “Meet the new boss…same as the old boss”.

Bear Hunting and Other Mastiff Activities


I slaughtered the bear, my friend Teddy, as the aligator looked on. I couldn’t help it. It is in my genes, my DNA, my pre programed reason for being, my purpose.  It is part of my family occupation, My dad did this and his dad before him. Even going way back my great great grand dad also was into bear hunts. My moms side also. We also specialized in lion hunting, and guarding forts. My ancestors even went to war. Entire brigades of us in armour running straight at the enemy.

It is not my fault it wasn’t our fault. The Romans trained us to do this. they must of had some vocational trade schools set up and us Mastiffs probably did well on the vocational testing at these sorts of things. I guess we excel at things like being the bouncer at a Roman fort or nowdays maybe if us dogs could get our own football league I can be a linebacker or maybe just an offensive or defensive lineman?

So I plead not guilty by reason of …………’um.it’s what I am meant to do. A little voice in my head says, “Kill the Bear, kill it, kill it now.” I guess a PR firm like in Mad Men or maybe say a defense lawyer or a politician would put a positive spin on it and say, “I released the white flufy stuffing trapped inside the bear, so it could be free, and so the bear was no longer encumbered by the weight of his insides.”

 

I know it looks like carnage and probably like an earlier picture of one of his family…….

I am thinking this may start to look bad for me, “Do I need a lawyer?”

Life Lesson: You are who you are, be proud and unapologetic, be happy, (unless you are a teddy bear living with a mastiff….then RUN!)